Managers: Here's The Right Way To Arbitrate a Team Conflict
Arbitrating a team conflict is never comfortable. But doing nothing — or doing it wrong — can seriously damage both performance and team
What you risk by mishandling a team conflict
A conflict left unresolved is never neutral.
It erodes performance, authority, and team spirit — and it chips away at your personal morale.
Here's what you expose yourself and your team to when you delay or mishandle a conflict.
And what to do about it, step-by-step.
The risks for you, the manager
Loss of authority:
If you avoid making a decision or let the conflict fester, your team will view you as passive and unable to enforce boundaries. Your credibility takes an immediate hit.
Emotional exhaustion:
Unresolved conflict eats away at you. You dwell on it even outside of work, feeding a cycle of chronic stress and paralysis.
Doubt about your own skills:
The longer you delay, the more you question your competence. If you’re already prone to impostor syndrome, the fall is even quicker.
Damage to your reputation:
It’s not just about the team. Your peers and superiors also judge your ability to lead. This kind of weakness always leaves a mark on your career.
The risks for your team
Loss of psychological safety:
Unchecked tension leads to silence, distrust, and withdrawal. The team climate degrades almost without anyone realizing.
Formation of “gangs”:
Without psychological safety, people cluster into micro-groups, often opposing each other — collaboration collapses.
Toxic behaviors spread:
If a team member steps in to manage the conflict in your place, you send a double message: "I can't handle my role," and "anything goes." A dangerous precedent, hard to undo.
Collapse of collective efficiency:
A divided team loses focus on goals. Coordination falls apart. Performance suffers heavily.
How to handle a conflict like a Solid Manager
Arbitrating a conflict is not about lecturing or playing judge.
It’s about listening seriously, deciding clearly, and enforcing the standards firmly.
Here’s the method.
1. Intervene without delay
A Solid Manager never lets a conflict settle in.
not acting is already choosing a side: the one dominating the situation.
the longer you wait, the harder the arbitration.
Intervene as soon as you:
sense abnormal tension,
notice passive-aggressive behavior,
observe discomfort during meetings.
2. Gather concrete facts
Understand before you act. No judging based on feelings or gossip.
How:
listen to weak signals: whispered remarks, unusual silences, exchanged glances.
note tangible facts: words spoken, dated incidents, real consequences.
separate facts from interpretations and individuals.
This preparation avoids impulsive mistakes and sets a calm framework.
3. Meet each person individually
You are a manager, not a therapist. But you work with human material.
During each meeting:
set the frame: "I'm here to understand, not to settle scores."
ask 90% open-ended questions.
focus on facts, not emotions.
Stay neutral: your goal is to clarify, not to pick sides.
4. Decide and own your decision
Once you have the facts, decide.
You are not always looking for a guilty party — you are looking to restore order.
Your decision may involve:
restating a rule,
demanding commitment to change,
reassigning tasks,
correcting a behavior firmly.
Important: Never demand apologies. You are no one's parent at work.
Formalize your decision:
Send a short email, like this:
"On issue X, I have made the following decision: [DECISION].
This will imply: [OPERATIONAL IMPLICATION]."
5. Follow up relentlessly
A conflict doesn't disappear after a decision. Emotions take time to settle.
What to do:
plan a follow-up within 2-3 weeks,
observe collective behaviors closely,
stay available but uncompromising on the standards you’ve set.
If tension persists, intervene again — more firmly if needed — and consult HR if necessary.
In short: exercising authority fairly
Handling a team conflict is not just a test of your managerial skills — it’s a powerful opportunity to assert your authority and restore psychological safety.
If you listened seriously, decided firmly, and followed up relentlessly,
you will come out stronger — and truly solid.
To your solidity,
Olivier KAMEL